jim-isms

There's nothing I enjoy more than hanging out with someone who has really, really great stories to tell. Well, there's nothing I enjoy more than hanging out with someone who has great stories and can tell them really well. Jim is a really fantastic story teller. And he looks like a combination of Neil Young and the crazy guy from Back to the Future. Who wouldn't want to hear a story from a combination like that???

It doesn't matter what we're talking about. Jim has a story for every topic. The other day while we were waiting for the ferry to take us to Antiparos, I bought a pair of sunglasses from the kiosk. I said something about how cheap sunglasses are always the way to go because they seem to always get lost or broken and I KNOW that the second I buy an expensive pair, they'll only last for about 1/10th of the time I spent picking them out.

Jim disagreed. He has only had expensive glasses. In fact, the first pair of sunglasses he ever had were about 200 pounds.

I looked at him and said something like, "how did you afford that?" He had mentioned before that he was a struggling artist for many, many years. He was a leather worker, metal worker, taught himself how to gold smith, was a marble sculptor, made jewelry, made costumes for movies, the list goes on and on.

He said, "Oh, well I didn't buy them, I won them in a bet."

"Won them in a bet? Who bets sunglasses?" I asked.

He chuckled a chuckle that said, "oh man I haven't thought of this story for a while, but it's a good one." He paused and thought of the best way to start the story.

"Well, I was in the middle of making this leather bikini while I was living in Ibiza (Spain) and I needed some silver. I brought the bikini with me to my silver smithing friend so I could get some from him. His workshop was right on the beach - he claimed that he never lost inspiration there or something... I'm not sure if it was the women or the water or what, but he did make really great stuff. Anyway, I get up to him and tell him what I need and he starts giving me a hard time.

"I'll give you the silver if you get that girl to put on the bikini." My friend said, as he pointed to the most beautiful Spanish woman on the beach.

Shit, I thought to myself. Who is going to try on a half-made bikini? And from a guy that looks like this? I had been working all day, you see.

So I figure that I need the silver much more than I need my dignity, so I walk over to her. I tell her about my situation, how I need the silver to finish this bikini, blah blah blah. He takes one look a the bikini, jumps up, and says, of course I'll try it on.

That was easy, I thought.

She went to try the bikini on and I went back to sit with my buddy in his workshop. And his face when that beauty came back wearing the bikini was just priceless.

And the best part about it was that she loved the thing. She actually wanted it right then and there! I told her it wasn't finished and that she could buy it from me later if she wanted, but she insisted on having it right then. She said she didn't have any money, but she did have these really expensive sunglasses.

She took them off and handed them to me. She told me how much they cost her and I tried them on.

I said ok and we made the deal. She didn't even take the bikini off-she just wandered back to her sunbathing spot and continued doing whatever it was she was doing before I went over to her.

I turned to my friend and looked at him through my new shades. His face! He put together a bag full of silver for me. Man did that silver sparkle in the sunlight -- I was really happy I had my sunglasses."